Asylum For LooneyTicks
by August Michigan
Summary: Marvin The Martian and his group, H.O.M.E.S., are planning to take over ACME, so Bugs Bunny and HIS group, SHUVEL, have to stop him. Short, isn't it?


_The 7__th__ episode of All Hail Lunacy,_

_written on May 13__th__-15__th__, 2012_

**Asylum For Looney-Ticks**

Ringo T. Rabbit

In the year of 1930 in the old town of Lunatic City, a group of _Looney Tunes _"villains" known as "**H**opefully **O**verthrowing **M**erchandising's **E**legant **S**tand" A.K.A. "**H.O.M.E.S.**"was gathered at a table in the dining/living room of an old, abandoned mansion. Led by Marvin The Martian at the head of the table, this particular group had a scheme to overthrow Albert A. Corn as the C.E.O. of ACME_, _thus giving _them _complete control of merchandise and consisted of the following (they were seated clockwise as listed): Sylvester Junior, Sylvester Cat, Gossamer, The Tasmanian Devil, Wile E. Coyote, and Yosemite Sam. H.O.M.E.S. was waiting for the right time to go after Bugs Bunny and _his_ motley crew (**S**hoving **H**eroism **U**nder **V**illains' **E**erie **L**egs A.K.A. **SHUVEL**) and stop them from stopping it. Of course, all of that waiting made Yosemite so impatient that he kept on tapping his fingers on the table while glowering at Marvin. He wasn't the only one who had become tired of the waiting: Junior was leaning his head on his hand, Sylvester was asleep, Gossamer was "messing up" his nails, The Tasmanian Devil was banging silverware that he was holding on the table in wait of a meal (yikes), and Wile was looking through an ACME catalog, imagining himself finally catching and eating Roadrunner, and licking his lips. Marvin, on the other hand, was looking at his ACME watch patiently. "How much longer do we have to wait? We've been _waiting_ for _30 minutes!_" exclaimed Yosemite as he lifted his head, leaned forward on the table with his hands, and spoke so loudly that he gained everyone's attention, even managing to wake Sylvester up and cause him to fall off his chair. "Oh, we won't have to wait for much longer, Yosemite." said Marvin, looking up at Yosemite at the same moment that Junior helped his father to get back up onto his chair. "In fact, we just have to wait until the clock strikes 4:00P.M." added the Martian. The clock struck 4:00P.M. a moment later, whereupon the members of H.O.M.E.S. got onto their Para-gliders and flew off towards the location of SHUVEL. On his first attempt to fly, Wile lost control of his Para-glider and accidentally bumped into a tree, but, shortly thereafter, he regained control and flew off with the rest of H.O.M.E.S. upon holding up a sign reading: "_Sorry, nature." _Meanwhile in a cul-de-sac near the outskirts of Lunatic City, Bugs was separating the members of his motley crew into pairs. In case you were wondering, SHUVEL consisted of the following: Bugs Bunny (of course), Tweety, Hippety Hopper, Elmer J. Fudd, Speedy Gonzales, Porky Pig, and Roadrunner. Daffy Duck was _supposed _to join SHUVEL, but he got mad and quit once he found out that Bugs was the leader. Anyway, the group separated into pairs, got onto its motorcycles and sidecars, and drove away just as the members of H.O.M.E.S. flew into view and started a chase. "Pursuers at tw-tw-12:00...er, I mean, 4:00P.M." said Porky from the back of the group. He was in a sidecar being pulled by Roadrunner. Wile licked his lips as soon as he saw the flightless bird, whom he imagined as being a "chicken-like morsel" of some sort. He attempted to fly down and seize Roadrunner, but the latter ducked, thereby causing the coyote's Para-glider to crash into a tree, which, in turn, caused him to land into a bush below. Sylvester and Junior tried to catch Tweety and Hippety (the latter of whom they had believed was a "giant mouse," of course), but it only resulted in the 2 pussycats' Para-glider going out of control. Meanwhile, Marvin was getting ready to disintegrate Bugs. "Prepare for disintegration." he said. "Yeah, before you disintegrate me, you probably ought to know that a Para-glider holding 2 pussycats is heading directly to-woids you, doc." said Bugs, pointing behind Marvin at Sylvester and Junior. The 3 crashed into a bridge not too far off and were followed by the other members of H.O.M.E.S. "Ah, crud!" said Yosemite as furiously as ever as he watched the members of SHUVEL speeding towards ACME Headquarters , where they were intending to warn Mr. Corn of the plan of H.O.M.E.S. "We could take the shortcut to ACME Headquarters. After all, it _is _only over there." said Sylvester Junior, pointing to an elevator in a tree labeled: "_Shortcut to ACME Headquarters. Convenient, isn't it?" _To put it shortly, H.O.M.E.S. used the shortcut and therefore got to ACME Headquarters . In fact, Mr. Corn had already been tied up and put under charge of Tasmanian by the time that the heroes had arrived. "You're too late, ya varmints!" said Yosemite to SHUVEL. "Wheelie [really]? Did we even miss the food?" inquired Elmer, looking around to see if it really _was _too late. "No; you'll find some leftover donuts in the staff kitchen." said Mr. Corn, shaking his head. "Donuts? Yum!" said The Tasmanian Devil, forgetting the entire mission and spinning towards the staff kitchen for some donuts in a tornado. "_Bien uno, Senor _Fudd." said Speedy, clapping in a congratulatory manner. "Uh…_gwacias?_" said Elmer, scratching his head confusedly. "H.O.M.E.S., go do what villains usually do at these points in good-versus-evil contentions. _I'll _take care of Bugs Bunny." said Marvin, turning to the remaining 5 members of his group. "Why can't leaders ever thay '_please?_'" muttered Sylvester resentfully as he and the rest of the group did as Marvin said to. After they left, Marvin, Bugs, and the still-tied-up Mr. Corn were left alone in the C.E.O.'s office. A tumbleweed blew across the rabbit and the Martian from an open window. "So, Bugs Bunny, it has come to _this_, a stereotypical hero-versus-villain contention. Speaking of which, I believe that I therefore ought to clear something up by saying that I am _not _your father." said the latter dramatically. "In which case, _I'll _say _this_: 'Eh, what's up, Darth?'" said Bugs. Therefore, the 2 characters slowly stepped towards each other until they were pretty much face-to-face, at which point they reached for each other's weapons so as to avoid getting fired at…and thereby got their arms entangled. "This is awkwoid. Do you have a scraper around here by any chance, doc?" inquired Bugs of Mr. Corn. Meanwhile, Yosemite was chasing Hippety down a hallway, with the joey bouncing from 1 office's doorway to another (the doors were all open for some reason) and the bandit futilely trying to fire an ACME Net-Launcher at him. With each failure to fire at Hippety, Yosemite, of course, became increasingly frustrated. "You'd better stop this '_hoppy'_ tomfoolery of yours, varmint, or else I'll make ya regret…not…doing so." he said threateningly. To his surprise, Yosemite found that Hippety was right in front of him, "bouncing" up and down without taking his feet off of the floor. Shaking his head in confusion, the bandit said, "Now, listen here, varmint: don't try any tricks, because I'm-" Suddenly, he realized that Hippety was imitating his movements and gestures. Getting an idea, Yosemite pretended to fire his ACME Net-Launcher at himself, whereupon Hippety fired at him _for real._ Meanwhile, Elmer and Porky were being chased by Gossamer, but managed to trip the monster and caused him to fall into a Burmese tiger-trap that they had built. "The bigger they are, the more h-hardly they fall, eh, Elmer?" said Porky, walking away from the Burmese tiger-trap with Elmer. "You bet, my mud-waddling fwend." said the hunter. Back in Mr. Corn's office, Bugs and Marvin were endeavoring to disentangle their arms by using an ACME Scraper, which they had found in the C.E.O.'s desk-drawer. It worked and caused the 2 characters to land across the room from each other just as Roadrunner came in with Wile in pursuit. "Roadrunner, could you maybe 'blow H.O.M.E.S. away' with a toinado, if it's not too much to ask?" inquired Bugs. Roadrunner nodded, beeped, and ran around Marvin with so much speed that it created a tornado, which picked up the aforementioned Martian and Wile, moved down the hallway, picked up Yosemite, Gossamer, and The Tasmanian Devil (Sylvester and Junior were chasing Speedy and Tweety in a janitor's closet with the door closed at the time, so they weren't picked up by the tornado), and went out the door of ACME Headquarters. "I guess that, for once, an adventure of this soit [sort] ended noimally [normally]." said Bugs as he, Elmer, Porky, Hippety, Roadrunner, and the recently untied Mr. Corn watched the tornado blow out the door. "Oh, I wouldn't say _that. _I have an intuition that something _silly _and _unusual _is going to happen before this is over." said Mr. Corn as he rubbed his rope-burned wrists. "What m-m-makes you say that?" inquired Porky. "Just wait: 3, 2, 1." counted Mr. Corn. Right on cue, Speedy and Tweety came in while being chased by Sylvester and Junior. "These 2 pootycats are pretty pertitent [persistent]!" said Tweety. Junior tried to throw a pie at Speedy, but accidentally hit Hippety instead. A pie fight ensued, culminating when Relish McLawn, one of Mr. Corn's employees, came in. "What a way to '_clown' _around!" he said as Elmer half-accidentally threw a pie in his face.

_**The very clownish end!**_

**Character creation credits**

Fred Avery: Bugs Bunny

Robert McKimson: Hippety Hopper, Sylvester Cat, Sylvester Junior, The Tasmanian Devil, Speedy Gonzales

Charles Jones: Roadrunner, Elmer J. Fudd, Wile E. Coyote, Marvin The Martian, Gossamer

Isadore Freleng: Porky Pig, Sylvester Cat, Yosemite Sam

Robert Clampett: Tweety

Ringo T. Rabbit: Albert A. Corn


End file.
